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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858754">Balance</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyangel/pseuds/bunnyangel'>bunnyangel</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(Or A Zombie Apocalypse), Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Evan Buckley's Deep And Abiding Brand Of Devotion, M/M, Pre-Slash, The Pains Of Being A Parent During A Pandemic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:27:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29858754</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnyangel/pseuds/bunnyangel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Buck and Eddie are sitting in a tree.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>70</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Flowers For Your Grave</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Balance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Thanks, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/marciaelena/pseuds/Marcia%20Elena">Marcia Elena</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"I don't wanna say I told you so," Buck says, "but I told you so." He'd balked at taking Eddie out, because he's maybe a hypocrite sometimes about people he cares about being in possible danger, and this is exactly why.</p>
<p>The look he gets is unamused, but well, when he's right, he's right. At least the tree is a good sized one, sturdy and large. Its lowest branches are a head higher than reaching arms and grasping hands, which is good, because the adoring audience they've collected is also fairly hungry and absolutely honed in on their position.</p>
<p><em>"</em>You didn't say anything about this." A gesture to the crowd below them. At least Eddie isn't freaking out, which is--exactly like Eddie, of course. It's his real first up-close encounter with a mob going on around half a year now and he's studying the zombies intently with dark, critical--and utterly fearless--eyes. Buck shouldn't have expected any less.</p>
<p>"Did I have to? I said Eddie, I don't think this is a good idea. And you said <em>nonsense, we'll be fine</em>."</p>
<p>He gets another dirty look for his (very accurate) high pitched imitation of Eddie. He grins in response and just relaxes further against the trunk of the tree. "Not to mention, you just <em>had</em> to say the F word, didn't you."</p>
<p>"Fuck you, Buckley. How's that for an F word?"</p>
<p>There's no bite to the curse, though, so he barely opens his eyes from where they're half closed. He yawns. It <em>is</em> a really nice day today. "Do you talk to Christopher with that mouth? For shame, daddy."</p>
<p>Another grin quirks when Eddie huffs in something like amusement. He doesn't even have to look to feel the eye roll.</p>
<p>He's drifting when he hears another sigh, this time in frustration. "How long are we gonna get stuck up here? Does this happen a lot to you guys?"</p>
<p>He shrugs even though he's not sure if Eddie's looking. "They'll wander off eventually, if we're quiet. Or someone might miss us by then."</p>
<p>They're only a block from the station, but it might as well be miles. The crowd is only growing. The moaning is not quite frenzied. They're too old and weathered, courtesy of months of blazing California sun, and their vocal chords are near rotted away, but the hum generated is still a tangible force in the air that draws more.</p>
<p>Despite their currently less than ideal situation, he's almost content to sit here in the shady boughs of this tree--would be, if Eddie weren't here, too. But...they're high enough and there's enough of a breeze to keep the stench of decay to a minimum, and Eddie had looked a lot more relaxed--still looks, in fact--than he had in a while, which was the whole point, anyway.</p>
<p>Here at the end of the world, he doesn't know if his feelings for Eddie have grown, or if Eddie even has space for him beneath the weight of all his other worries, but he'd give a lot to keep that horrible tension out of those broad shoulders. They're in a weird time, a limbo between things-as-they-knew and this reality that is probably only finally now settling as permanent. Only just yesterday had Karen burst into hysterical tears, over a packet of creamer, of all things, babbling something about "chai" and "double-foam." He doesn't know. He'd gotten out quick.</p>
<p>And anyway, he's still allowed into the spaces left around the tiny Diaz family, still the one Eddie looks to the most or seeks out when he needs a shoulder. He hoards those warm moments like a jealous dragon and is content, for now--for always, maybe--to look over them when things sometimes get too much or not enough.</p>
<p>He opens an eye when the branches and leaves in Eddie's vicinity start rustling. He's scooting carefully forward on the branch he's straddling, and if that doesn't give Buck a slew of dirty thoughts alongside a spike of anxiety, well.</p>
<p>"Please don't fall, Eddie. I think we're in enough trouble."</p>
<p>"I'm not you, Buck."</p>
<p>"Okay, that was <em>one</em> time." There's trepidation as Eddie leans forward to peer over at something in the mob. His heart is beating faster than it has in months, for entirely terrible reasons, and he really wishes Eddie would move back to the thicker part of the branch.</p>
<p>"One, huh. Did you forget the tree on Vine?"</p>
<p>"Listen, we can't all be perfect, first-time tree climbers, okay?"</p>
<p>"You were sitting."</p>
<p>"Excuse you. Balance is balance. Albert and I have been perfecting our art." He doesn't miss the lightning quick tension around Eddie's jaw, which...is confusing, because he doesn't quite understand what for. He bites his lip to stifle the sigh of relief when Eddie sits up and starts his slow return to the trunk.</p>
<p>"Perfecting, right. Is that what you call it when you come home with dented cans?"</p>
<p>"They came pre-dented. It's an end-of-times side effect, like perpetual lack of electricity, or learning how to filter rain water." He grins. "Or gardening." The glare he gets this time has him laughing. It had only taken a week for Eddie to be banned from both the kitchen and the fledgling rooftop garden. He doesn't even understand how you overwater something when they so scarcely have it in the first place.</p>
<p>He <em>has</em> improved on that measure, anyway. There'll be no falling out of trees any more for him, no, sir. Just...a little tripping here and there. He changes the subject, sitting up with enough force to crack his spine. "I'm hungry!"</p>
<p>"Are you crazy? I'm going to shove you out of this tree; give you something to really scream for."</p>
<p>He pauses in his stretching and stares over at Eddie from beneath his lashes. "Why, Eddie, if you want me to scream for you, all you have to do is ask."</p>
<p>Eddie gives him an incredulous look, but laughs. He's also satisfied to note that there's the slightest blush tinting tanned cheekbones as Eddie looks away...and the slightest furrow between those eyebrows as he watches the still growing crowd.</p>
<p>"We're fine," Bucks says automatically, wanting to soothe away that line. "I told you these ones are mostly harmless. There are no fresh bodies for miles." Those were the dangerous ones. Too fast and too determined and all too lethal. There's still danger if they fell here, but at the very least they'd be able to outrun them.</p>
<p>They're quiet, and Buck takes the opportunity to admire the long line of Eddie Diaz that's now stretched out on the branch. It's really so unfair. They've been in this end-of-times for months and Eddie still looks amazing.</p>
<p>Well, Eddie's been cooped up for months with nothing but the gym and his child as an outlet, so it's not much of a surprise. They had decided early on--rather, he'd out-stubborned everyone early on--that singular units, like Buck and Albert, or less frequently, Josh and David and maybe Bobby, would be the only ones going on supply runs. There had been and still are multiple objections, though they're growing less in frequency with every safe and successful return. He couldn't, and still can't, do much about this end-of-times, but this much, offering to risk his life so that the children he loves like his own will hopefully never have to deal with losing their parent units? Well, that's something he can do, no problem.</p>
<p>"Why did you want to go out so much today, anyway? Did you forget I'm the reckless one in this relationship?"</p>
<p>He regrets the question when the easy relaxation leaves Eddie's posture. He's known Eddie for almost four years now, and they've all experienced the same all-consuming hell that was the end of the world. He likes to think he's an expert on reading that face.</p>
<p>And right now, that face says Eddie is uncomfortable, which isn't unusual for Eddie, especially when anyone tries to pry into his feelings, but that face is also telling him that he's <em>sad</em> and <em>guilty</em>, and well, that's not something he wants to stand for if it's in his power to help it.</p>
<p>He wants to push, but he also knows better. Either Eddie will tell him or he won't. And though it's been the former for a while--years, really--there are still some times when it's the latter.</p>
<p>He waits in Eddie's silence.</p>
<p>He'll always wait.</p>
<p>Eddie doesn't disappoint him. "I just needed to get out, for a little while." The admission is nothing, and yet it's also everything. It's also tinted with the barest hint of shame.</p>
<p>Buck doesn't reply right away.</p>
<p>He thinks he gets it. He has freedom in a way the others don't. And they're all, to a one, still mostly adrenaline junkies. The team, anyway. There's perceived risk of going out, one he still doesn't want to expose any of his family to, but he meant what he said. Most of the fresh bodies dried up in the first month or two alone under the brutal California sun. The danger simply <em>wasn't</em> with such easily evaded stiff and shambling bodies. In fact, they'd come back twice to find less than savory people trying to break <em>into</em> the station, and one time when they actually <em>managed</em>, so.</p>
<p>They're also on top of each other twenty-four seven, which is stressful enough, but he doesn't have a child depending on him for survival, no matter how much it takes a village. No matter how much he loves any of them and would give his life for them in a heartbeat. He's Uncle Buck and he's a great fun distraction, but he doesn’t have to worry about feeding them an even slightly nutritious and balanced meal, somehow; doesn't have to discipline them or deal with their moods or try and implement some sort of discipline and education here at the end of the world.</p>
<p>And Eddie, he's always felt more keenly the pressure of that particular burden. Not that he views it as such, which is one of the great things about Eddie.</p>
<p>But Buck wouldn't be surprised if any or if all of the parents are feeling suffocated at this point. They might have to revisit letting the parents out on a supply run once in a while...or maybe clear out and somehow secure the surrounding block and let both parents <em>and</em> kids outside...or maybe even relocate to the countryside, finally. The logistics of any of that is enough to have his mostly dormant anxiety spiking, though.</p>
<p>"It was just supposed to be a quick walk," Eddie says ruefully. "Some fresh air. Some sunshine. Guess it was too much to ask for." The last isn't bitter, but Buck can easily imagine that it sometimes might be, sometimes is.</p>
<p>"It's not too much to ask for." He carefully doesn't look at Eddie; keeps his body relaxed and lounging against the tree. "It's never too much to ask for. If you need a break, then we take a break. Always."</p>
<p>Eddie doesn't reply and Buck doesn't look at him.</p>
<p>"But next time, can we just parkour or something?"</p>
<p>Eddie laughs, and if it sounds a little wet, he doesn't mention it.</p>
<p>He tucks away a sad smile and settles back in to wait. They're okay. They'll be okay.</p>
<p>He'll make sure of it.</p>
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